Doctor Who: Target - Novelisations [146] - The Happiness Patrol by Graeme Curry

Author:Graeme Curry
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Science-Fiction - Doctor Who
ISBN: 9780426203391
Publisher: Target Books
Published: 1990-05-13T22:00:00+00:00

10

The Doctor had lost the pursuing Happiness Patrol guards in the alleys and wynds of the city. He was hiding in a small alcove waiting for the search to be called off. When he decided it was safe, he poked his head out. He seemed to be next to a small booth, with the words ‘Stage Door’ painted roughly above the window. Then the Doctor recognized the steps of the Forum. He was back in the square where the TARDIS had landed earlier in the evening. The Forum Square. He also recognized it as the site of the waiting zone that he had been brought to with Ace, although there was now no sign of the slot machine or Priscilla P. He idly wondered what sort of trouble Ace was getting herself into.

Ernest P, the stage doorman, had done the job all his life. His father had done it, and his father’s father before that. Generations of his family had discovered that the best way of dealing with the public was to be rude to them.

That way they went away and didn’t bother you. Apart from the Happiness Patrol, of course. Ernest P was always pleased to see them.

The Doctor stood at the stage door window and doffed his hat to Ernest P. ‘Excuse me, but wasn’t this a prison earlier tonight?’

Ernest P did not look up from his paper. ‘We don’t have prisons on Terra Alpha.’

‘Yes, yes, yes,’ said the Doctor impatiently. ‘A waiting zone, then.’

Ernest P sighed wearily and looked up at the Doctor. ‘It’s only a waiting zone during certain hours of the night, that is until it’s time for the late show at the Forum.’

‘The late show?’

‘Happiness Patrol auditions.’ Ernest P nodded towards the Forum. ‘You want the main entrance, mate. Into the Forum Square, up the steps, can’t miss it.’

‘But I don’t want the late show. I’m hiding.’

Ernest P returned to his paper. ‘You need a permit to hide here.’

‘It’s in my other jacket,’ said the Doctor.

Ernest had heard it all before. ‘And where’s that?’

‘It’s in my other jacket,’ said the Doctor.

Ernest had heard enough. He slammed down his paper and struggled to his feet. ‘Listen, mate. Authorized personnel and late show Happiness Patrol candidates only. That’s what the memo said.’

The Doctor thought of Ace again. ‘So this is where they test candidates for the Happiness Patrol.’

The sound of boots on stone alerted the Doctor and he ducked back into his hiding place just in time to watch a Happiness Patrol run past, obviously still hunting him. He emerged when they had gone.

Ernest looked after them proudly. ‘Some of the successful candidates,’ he said.

‘Some of the few,’ said the Doctor grimly.

Gilbert M was strolling casually round the Kandy Man – who was still stuck to the floor – studying the problem. He came close enough to infuriate the Kandy Man with his freedom, but just far enough away to avoid the Kandy Man’s hands as they lashed out in anger.

‘What’s happening to me?’ shouted the Kandy Man.

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